J🤣KES EMPIRE 254

Those people who still fuck in the bedroom na kulaliana na ma "kifo za mende"..ushamba imewafikisha wapi??watu ni kufuck outside the box buana..peleka mtu kitchen,,wekelea mguu juu ya Gas Cooker halafu inua kinyambisi hadi aone mapafu nahuko ndani..wacha aingize mtree mpaka iguze roho na huko ndani .na kabla aingize cz nikama umechora saba fake jaribu ubweke kidogo..surprise him my sister...bora mchunge msiangukie kisu iingie kwa matako na mnajua matako hua haiponi ikipata kidonda...my sister...toa mtu hapo..shika mtree umvute kama vile mtu huvuta mbuzi na kamba mpaka bathroom..paka yeye sabuni mpaka ateleze kama salamander ya kinoo..kabla ashtukie ushamskuma kwa bathtub..kama mnaonganga na besheni sasa sjui mtaingia aje ndani bila kuivunja nugu izi!!..mkishaingia..kalia jamaa hapa mbele buana..my sister..sugua hio mtree..nmesema sugua mtree tafadhali.. na uchunge sabuni inaeza ingia kwa nunu upate mimba ya Geisha..yani inshort..fuck outside the box.Bedroom na vitanda tuliach...

A police officer stopped a pastor for speeding. The Pastor seeing trouble, yelled back: “I am a pastor going to church not a thief” The officer replied: “Please, leave that pastor thing out. Anyway, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a Bible in your car. Bring it.” The Pastor speedily brought out his Bible to prove his honesty and to be freed. “Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me.” Said the police man. Incredulously, The Pastor opened the recommended text and it reads: *“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny”* The perplexed man of God upon interpretation *“QUIETLY”* made an *“offering”* of K100 to his newly found *“preach...

1. Oil leaves Turkana by road. (Why not build a refinery in Turkana to avoid unnecessary logistical costs.) 2. Oil arrives at the port in Mombasa, leaves for the Indian Ocean going to where no one knows. 3. In the middle of the Ocean, vessel carrying exported oil from Kenya, makes a U-turn, heads back to the port of Mombasa. 4. Oil is received by port authorities as imported crude oil from Saudi Arabia, tax is levied. 😀Kenya becomes the first country in the world to import oil from itself. Hata sisi tupewe bangi tuvute ndio tuelewe hii story ya wavutaji bhangi

SALIMIANGA WATU! 1. Watu wafupi salimia watu warefu kwa ploti, bulb huungua. 2. Salimia watchie, key ya gate hupotea. 3. Salimia mashemeji, kesi inaweza kuwa ngori. 4. Salimia jirani, chumvi huisha. 5. Salimia lecturer, marks hupotea. 6. Salimia receptionist, yeye ndiye anajua mko wangapi. 7. Salimia mtu wa makaa, gas huisha. 8. Salimia watu, sukuma hukwama kwa meno na unaenda date. 9. Salimia mtu wa choo ya kanjo, mtu huanza kuendesha na hana ten bob 10. Salimia classmate, utahitaji mwakenya 11. Salimia neighbour wa chali yako, anajua ni wangapi mnaletwa hapo. 12. Salimia shoemaker, kiatu huraruka. 13. Salimia watu wa ushago, gari hukwama kwa matope. 14. Salimia watu wa ploti, wao ndio wanajua wewe ni bibi number ngapi. 15. Salimia watchie kwa sababu Bae hukuja sponser akiwa kwa nyumba. 16. Smile na usalimie watu wa Kenya power, stima hukatwa wakakuachia fuse. 17. Salimia watu wana private cars, matatu hugoma. 18. Salimia landlord, mshahara huchelewa. 19. Nisalimie...